Via Aljazeera.net
Anyone that continues to believe that Iraqi Kurds, Sunnis and Shia can't work together need only look at Iraq's historic first win in "The Asian Cup".
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Abdul-Ilah As-Saadi, an Iraqi based in Doha, Qatar, said: "It was magic. We could have scored 10 goals. It has brought all Iraqis together, I have been getting calls from all over the world."
--
A big hearty Goodonya from the most fair dinkum Aussie in the land of Aus.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Convict blood in 6m Aussies, Brits
MORE than 4 million Australians and 2 million Britons are related to convicts deported from Britain to Australia in the 18th and 19th centuries, genealogists said today.
Australia, the only country openly proud of it's convict heritage.
They included stealing fish from a river or pond, embezzlement, receiving or buying stolen goods, setting fire to underwood or petty theft.
As a new age Australian citizen (not related in any way to convicts), i think a survey needs to be done into the mental trauma suffered by new arrivals forced to live among the ancestors of fish thieves, embezzlers or pyro-maniacs with an underwood fetish. Surely if the proposal is worded properly, and the words "Global Warming" and "Climate Change" are included in the Masters thesis proposal, some young aussie gun can get this funding approved.
Sex with meat eaters shunned
A group of New Zealand vegans - people who do not eat any animal products - are shunning sex with meat eaters, claiming their bodies are made up of animal carcases, a researcher said in a newspaper today."When you are vegan or vegetarian, you are very aware that when people eat a meaty diet, they are kind of a graveyard for animals," vegan Nichola Kriek told the Christchurch daily The Press.
--
Another said: "I would not want to be intimate with someone whose body is literally made up from the bodies of others who have died for their sustenance."Annie Potts, co-director of the New Zealand Centre for Human and Animal Studies at Canterbury University, identified the people she called "vegansexuals" in her research study, Cruelty-Free Consumption in New Zealand: A National Report on the Perspectives and Experiences of Vegetarians and other Ethical Consumers.
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The world has gone crazy. What i want to know is, who do i turn to when "my local member" gets rejected based on the fact that he is a meatosaurus comprising the carcasses of other animals? I do after all need to prepare for every eventuality.
Weekly Horrorscope by A Guy Called Nostrildamus
Tuesday 31 July 07
--
This John Winston Howard, flush from his recent Birthday trip to East Timor, will be forced to deny that he had anything to do with the Dr Mohammed Haneef Incarceration for terrorism. He will further be forced to deny that he influenced the Commonwealth Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) in his review of the case and that he was aware of the existence of the DPP or what his role is. It's called culpable deniablility.
--
This week noone will be held accountable for releasing Dr Haneef's private details, including e-mail adsdresses, home adresses of family members, mobile phone numbers and other private detrails, including that hisf avourite colour is not purple, when his lawyer leaked his interview transcript to the media.
--
Aguycalledbrad will fail to be acknowledged as the individual who had this transcript removed from The Age and Australian Web pages, when he pointed out to the editors that is was not fair include personal details of people not involved in the case, especially since Australia, like every other country has it's own fair share of nutcases ready to waive innocence until proven guilty based on a story in the "Daily Telegraph".
--
Ninety nine percent of Australians, including my friend Michelle who stayed up getting Asian Cup Quarter Finals highlights via text message from me (Australia Lost on penalties), will not be able to name the eventual finalists or the winner of the Asian Cup.
--
Should a Federal Election be called this week, as with the previous Federal election, all Liberal supporters will go into hiding in secret bunkers meaning it will be impossible to find anyone willing to admit they intend to vote Liberal.
--
At least three polls will be published showing that the Labor government holds an election winning lead, and would have been a shoo-in if the election had been held yesterday, last week, last weekend or whenever. None of these polls will mention that the same occured during the last three elections. No point undermining the credibility of a questionable poll with inconvenient historical facts or context.
--
Someone will suggest that Dr Haneef needs to sue the Commonwealth for damages. I know that i would.
--
Al Gore will again refuse to justify why his personal Carbon Footprint (excluding all the international air travel he does) is so much higher than the average Americans. The Truly Inconvenient Truth that GW Bush, has a much lower Carbon footprint than Gore will fail to be discussed at all in the media.
--
Collingwood will defeat whichever team they are playing.--
--
No Cute furry animals were harmed in producing this horrorscope.
--
This John Winston Howard, flush from his recent Birthday trip to East Timor, will be forced to deny that he had anything to do with the Dr Mohammed Haneef Incarceration for terrorism. He will further be forced to deny that he influenced the Commonwealth Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) in his review of the case and that he was aware of the existence of the DPP or what his role is. It's called culpable deniablility.
--
This week noone will be held accountable for releasing Dr Haneef's private details, including e-mail adsdresses, home adresses of family members, mobile phone numbers and other private detrails, including that hisf avourite colour is not purple, when his lawyer leaked his interview transcript to the media.
--
Aguycalledbrad will fail to be acknowledged as the individual who had this transcript removed from The Age and Australian Web pages, when he pointed out to the editors that is was not fair include personal details of people not involved in the case, especially since Australia, like every other country has it's own fair share of nutcases ready to waive innocence until proven guilty based on a story in the "Daily Telegraph".
--
Ninety nine percent of Australians, including my friend Michelle who stayed up getting Asian Cup Quarter Finals highlights via text message from me (Australia Lost on penalties), will not be able to name the eventual finalists or the winner of the Asian Cup.
--
Should a Federal Election be called this week, as with the previous Federal election, all Liberal supporters will go into hiding in secret bunkers meaning it will be impossible to find anyone willing to admit they intend to vote Liberal.
--
At least three polls will be published showing that the Labor government holds an election winning lead, and would have been a shoo-in if the election had been held yesterday, last week, last weekend or whenever. None of these polls will mention that the same occured during the last three elections. No point undermining the credibility of a questionable poll with inconvenient historical facts or context.
--
Someone will suggest that Dr Haneef needs to sue the Commonwealth for damages. I know that i would.
--
Al Gore will again refuse to justify why his personal Carbon Footprint (excluding all the international air travel he does) is so much higher than the average Americans. The Truly Inconvenient Truth that GW Bush, has a much lower Carbon footprint than Gore will fail to be discussed at all in the media.
--
Collingwood will defeat whichever team they are playing.--
--
No Cute furry animals were harmed in producing this horrorscope.
--
One joint the same as five ciggies - study
SMOKING a single cannabis joint has the same impact on breathing capacity as up to five cigarettes, according to a New Zealand study.
MM, if i had a dollar for every time Joe Potsmoker told me that smoking cigarettes was worse than pot, I would be a very slightly richer man. Might actually be able to afford to by those nice new .........
As with most research of this kind, it completely fails to include the financial impact of pot smoking, that being the cost of "the Munchies". All i can say is pot smoking must be akin to morning sickness, cause Joe Potsmoker will eat whatever is in the fringe, no matter how marginally edible it is. Not mention the memory issues (see this link for more):
MM, if i had a dollar for every time Joe Potsmoker told me that smoking cigarettes was worse than pot, I would be a very slightly richer man. Might actually be able to afford to by those nice new .........
As with most research of this kind, it completely fails to include the financial impact of pot smoking, that being the cost of "the Munchies". All i can say is pot smoking must be akin to morning sickness, cause Joe Potsmoker will eat whatever is in the fringe, no matter how marginally edible it is. Not mention the memory issues (see this link for more):
Dear Cecil:
I know that this really isn't the type of thing that is asked about frequently, but I gotta ask. When someone smokes marijuana, they get the much-fabled "munchies." I know that this occurs, I am just at a loss as to why it does occur. What is the physiological reasons for this to occur? --Out of My Skull at Ohio University
I know that this really isn't the type of thing that is asked about frequently, but I gotta ask. When someone smokes marijuana, they get the much-fabled "munchies." I know that this occurs, I am just at a loss as to why it does occur. What is the physiological reasons for this to occur? --Out of My Skull at Ohio University
Cecil replies:
You need to slack off on the ganja, bro. What you meant to ask was what the physiological reasons are. Also, you used "occur" three times in two sentences. Besides interfering with cognitive function, marijuana impairs short-term memory. Looks like yours can be measured in milliseconds.
You need to slack off on the ganja, bro. What you meant to ask was what the physiological reasons are. Also, you used "occur" three times in two sentences. Besides interfering with cognitive function, marijuana impairs short-term memory. Looks like yours can be measured in milliseconds.
---
Wonder how hard it was to get 399 volunteers for this study, and who financed it. But that is another story for another day.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Interesting Concept
Received via e-mail from anonymous
I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to earn that pay cheque, as I work on a mine site or a Kalgoorlie construction project, I am required to pass a random urine test, with which I have no problem.
What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare cheque because I have to pass one to earn it for them??
Please understand – I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their arse drinking piss & smoking dope.
Could you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance cheque?????
Please pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you all will pass it along though, because something has to change in this country, and soon!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Alleged Raging Liberal Sends Birthday Wishes
To the right honourable John Howard, fearless leader of the Carbonista's Republic of Australia, Happy Birthday Thursday 26th July.
Norway princess 'talks to angels'
via news.bbc.co.uk
Norway's Princess Martha Louise says she has psychic powers and can teach people to communicate with angels.
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What about Goblins, i feel that goblins are severely under-represented in today's psychic community. Surely they would have some advice on how to survive in today's society. I fear we don't have the right caliber of psychic these days.
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Princess Martha Louise is fourth in line to the Norwegian throne.
The royal palace says it has no official link to the princess' planned alternative therapy centre, the AFP news agency reports.
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No surprise there, I am guessing they are all quietly beefing up security on the top three in line for the throne.
Norway's Princess Martha Louise says she has psychic powers and can teach people to communicate with angels.
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What about Goblins, i feel that goblins are severely under-represented in today's psychic community. Surely they would have some advice on how to survive in today's society. I fear we don't have the right caliber of psychic these days.
--
Princess Martha Louise is fourth in line to the Norwegian throne.
The royal palace says it has no official link to the princess' planned alternative therapy centre, the AFP news agency reports.
--
No surprise there, I am guessing they are all quietly beefing up security on the top three in line for the throne.
Nowhere to go for Palestinian Refugees
Tony Blair, and the Arab League may be able to negotiate a lasting peace in the Middle East, but with Hamas blocking the only crossing out of the Gaza Strip that does not pass through Israel, then stating that should the Israelis open their border crossing, as a Humanitarian gesture, it would be treated as a military target, i am somewhat sceptical.
Via news.bbc.com
The governor of North Sinai said he had funds to feed 3,000 Palestinians for three days and the Egyptian Red Crescent has promised food aid for a further 10 days, the French news agency reported.
Many of the Palestinians have no money to pay for food or lodging and are staying in mosques or sleeping in the open.
The Rafah crossing is the only way in or out of Gaza that does not pass through Israel - although when it is open the Israeli authorities monitor traffic electronically.
Israel has said another crossing into Gaza from its territory could be used, but Hamas has said it will treat that crossing as a military target if it is used.
Pray that statesman Blair and the rest of the Arab League can make a difference.
I Can't Be Expected to Work in These Conditions
I can't be expected to work under these conditions. There's a hot looking girl doing some gardening in the car park. And if i walk to the end of the corridor, walk out two doors, one of them cypher locked, turn right, and hide behind a pillar at the end of the building, whilst peaking around the corner of said pillar, I can see her. How am i supposed to work under these conditions of blatant flaunting of womanhood and womanly virtue doing all the gardening type things that i am not good at. It's a travesty. I only wish company's still had complaints departments so that i could complain, and thus get some righteous satisfaction.
Alas they don't, so I shall soldier on, but I can tell you my mind is not on the job. Hang on, my mind is on the job.
Alas they don't, so I shall soldier on, but I can tell you my mind is not on the job. Hang on, my mind is on the job.
Australia's Asparagus and Cow Pea Shame
According to nationmaster.com, Australia is ranked last in the world in terms of Asparagus and Cow Pea exports to the USA as well as rice production per capita. This my friends is a travesty. So as you ponder the coming Federal Election, be sure to contact your local member and ask what he/she is doing for the downtrodden Asparagus and Cow Pea farmers, and why the much vaunted Free Trade Agreements with the USA have not addressed this appalling ranking.
The fact that we have no asparagus and cow pea industries to speak of should be ignored entirely, what if there were a Cow Pea and or asparagus famine (think Irish potato famine here), how would all the yuppie asparagus eater and dread locked haired Byron Bay Commune living hippie survive. You have to choose your battles people, and I have chosen this one. Whose with me?
The fact that we have no asparagus and cow pea industries to speak of should be ignored entirely, what if there were a Cow Pea and or asparagus famine (think Irish potato famine here), how would all the yuppie asparagus eater and dread locked haired Byron Bay Commune living hippie survive. You have to choose your battles people, and I have chosen this one. Whose with me?
Don't Demonise Mugabe: Kaunda the Poet
Is Kenneth Kaunda nuts or what. Don't demonise Mugabe my arse, call a spade a spade. How can someone sensitive enough to write a poem in Blair's honour turn out to be such a horse's arse. Not that Blair inspired poetry is necessarily a sign of goodness.
Via bbc.co.uk
Now, let me reveal that when Blair was elected British prime minister, I wrote a poem in his favour, called "A Star Is Born To Us." Indeed, his feelings for Africa have been very good.
Mugabe's regime has been widely condemned in the West Leaders in the West say Robert Mugabe is a demon, that he has destroyed Zimbabwe and he must be gotten rid of - but this demonising is made by people who may not understand what Robert Gabriel Mugabe and his fellow freedom fighters went through, says former Zambian President Kenneth Kaunda.
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Point of order, he's not being demonised for what he went through 27 years ago, he's being demonised for what he is doing now. In fact he's not being demonised enough, we keep giving the political equivalent of a pat on the back by allowing Zimbabwe to be a member of the United Nations Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission. Can anyone tell me just where the Irony stops and the Farce starts.
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At the talks, the people of Zimbabwe were assured that they were going to be independent the following year, 1980. But that wonderful news was conditional. The new government of Zimbabwe was not to deal with land issues but was to "leave that in the hands of the British government".
Mugabe was a long-time opponent of Ian Smith. Nationalists from Zimbabwe accepted this rather harsh and complicated condition.
The Thatcher government had begun to deal with the land issue, as did her successor, John Major. But when Tony Blair took over in 1997, I understand that some young lady in charge of colonial issues within that government simply dropped doing anything about it.
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Hey Skeezit, if you're gonna sprinkle a few facts in, at least complete the story. The land distribution was indeed left in the hands of the British, who proceeded to purchase the farms from the white farmers on a willing buyer-willing seller basis, and passing them onto the government for redistribution. This was working well, until the British government realised the land was not being redistributed, but was being given to government ministers, with no interest in farming, who proceeded to use prime farmland as weekend retreats. In other words the common man was not benefiting, and in this situation it made more economic sense to leave the farms in the hands of white farmers who at least were farming the land, providing jobs and a input into the economy. And i suppose a bloke in the pub told you about the "some young lady in charge of colonial issues" dropping the land distribution thing.
Mugabe's regime has been widely condemned in the West Leaders in the West say Robert Mugabe is a demon, that he has destroyed Zimbabwe and he must be gotten rid of - but this demonising is made by people who may not understand what Robert Gabriel Mugabe and his fellow freedom fighters went through, says former Zambian President Kenneth Kaunda.
--
Point of order, he's not being demonised for what he went through 27 years ago, he's being demonised for what he is doing now. In fact he's not being demonised enough, we keep giving the political equivalent of a pat on the back by allowing Zimbabwe to be a member of the United Nations Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission. Can anyone tell me just where the Irony stops and the Farce starts.
--
At the talks, the people of Zimbabwe were assured that they were going to be independent the following year, 1980. But that wonderful news was conditional. The new government of Zimbabwe was not to deal with land issues but was to "leave that in the hands of the British government".
Mugabe was a long-time opponent of Ian Smith. Nationalists from Zimbabwe accepted this rather harsh and complicated condition.
The Thatcher government had begun to deal with the land issue, as did her successor, John Major. But when Tony Blair took over in 1997, I understand that some young lady in charge of colonial issues within that government simply dropped doing anything about it.
--
Hey Skeezit, if you're gonna sprinkle a few facts in, at least complete the story. The land distribution was indeed left in the hands of the British, who proceeded to purchase the farms from the white farmers on a willing buyer-willing seller basis, and passing them onto the government for redistribution. This was working well, until the British government realised the land was not being redistributed, but was being given to government ministers, with no interest in farming, who proceeded to use prime farmland as weekend retreats. In other words the common man was not benefiting, and in this situation it made more economic sense to leave the farms in the hands of white farmers who at least were farming the land, providing jobs and a input into the economy. And i suppose a bloke in the pub told you about the "some young lady in charge of colonial issues" dropping the land distribution thing.
Let's also recall that in the referendum by the Zimbabwe government on whether the land should be reclaimed, the Zimbabwean people voted no to forcibly taking the land from white farmers. The Zimbabwean Government went ahead and started taking the land anyway.
Any good news article should end with a prayer, and KK does not disappoint:
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It is also my humble prayer that South African President Thabo Mbeki and his regional colleagues will meet Robert Gabriel Mugabe, who will be ready in his soul, mind, and body to respond to the advice they give him and the people of Zimbabwe
--
--
Not liking the odds of the "Right Honourable Comrade Robert Gabriel Mugabe" being ready in his soul, mind and body to respond to advice. Even if he is named after one of the Archangels.
As The Attorney Said To The Witness ...
___________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
__________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one...
______________ __ _______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______ _____ _______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure ?
WIT NESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
__________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one...
______________ __ _______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______ _____ _______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure ?
WIT NESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Flying Pterodactyl Like Roo Sought for Modelling Job
Qantas releases it's new logo, and the crowd goes wild, with one commentator quite hilariously saying it is more "Pterodactyl, than flying Kangaroo". Which in my mind is quite justifiable since i am certain that the designer's had a lot of trouble finding a mythical "Flying Kangaroo" to model it on.
... initial reactions suggest the logo changes will be less than enthusiastically received. Ron Dyer, who with Tony Lunn introduced the wingless kangaroo in 1984, was speechless when shown the new design by The Australian yesterday.
New design "a waste of money"
Mr Dyer questioned why Qantas would waste up to $100 million changing the logo on its fleet for what he described as an inelegant design. "Jesus Christ, there is nothing stylish about that kangaroo whatsoever," he said. "If you only knew how long it took us to get that whole thing worked originally. (To see a real elegant, and stylish roo, visit this link)
So in other words the money spent by Qantas to get Mr Dyer and co to re-design the logo in 1984 was somehow more justifiable than the money spent this time.
Ken Cato, who tweaked the Lunn-Dyer design for the airline's 75th anniversary in 1995, described the big-foot logo as ugly.
Mr Cato said he would have liked to have seen the return of the winged kangaroo – an image he said that had mystical qualities.
I suppose a logo that is both mythical and mystical has to be better than one that is merely mythical. If it was mystical the money spent would be justifiable.
Well I for one, am impressed. I Like it.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
'Losing sight of Planet Earth'
via news.bbc.co.uk
A key US space agency (Nasa) satellite important for detecting hurricanes and providing other climate data will go silent in the next few years, and missions to replace it have been cancelled or delayed.
So, any predictions on how long it will take for Carbonista's to state this is nothing more than another plot by the US government to deny the rest of the world accurate data with which to predict global warming.
A key US space agency (Nasa) satellite important for detecting hurricanes and providing other climate data will go silent in the next few years, and missions to replace it have been cancelled or delayed.
So, any predictions on how long it will take for Carbonista's to state this is nothing more than another plot by the US government to deny the rest of the world accurate data with which to predict global warming.
Weekly Horrorscope by A Guy Called Nostrildamus
Monday 23 July 07
--
This week Al (my scientists are better than your scientists) Gore will once again continue his crusade to take global warming to the masses, whilst steadfastly refusing to debate the issue with anyone who both disagrees with him, and has a greater than primary school education. His point being it's so obvious even a primary school kids understand it (why else are the kiddies having global warming nightmares), hence debate will be limited to pre-schoolers.
--
Recent predictions that petrol prices are expected to drop to close to a dollar a litre will be dismissed as a pre-election stunt by John Howard. How John Howard is supposed to control fuel prices will not be explained, after all, why ruin a good story facts.
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A major newspaper will publish an article implying that John Howard should do more to reduce fuel prices, possibly by reducing fuel taxes. The rationale will be that the Aussie Battler can no longer afford to run his or her car. This same newspaper will publish an article bemoaning Australia's dependence on fossil fuels in light of global warming stating that we need to increase usage of public transport. No irony will detected in either article.
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Thousands of disappointed Australians will spend Monday and Tuesday morning trying to locate Japan on a World map in light of Japan knocking Australia out of Asian Cup. Even more Australians will state that we are not even Asian anyway, and it's not as if it's the World Cup in which case we would have tried harder. These same Australians have no idea who Australian would have faced in the semi finals had it defeated Japan.
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On Monday I will ring my dad again to make sure he is aware that Collingwood defeated Essendon in the AFL on the weekend.
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Should a Federal Election be called this week, as with the previous Federal election, all Liberal supporter will go into hiding in secret bunkers meaning it will be impossible to find anyone willing to admit they intend to vote Liberal.
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This week, Galloping Morgan will publish a survey stating that Kevin Rudd's brother being forced to resign as a member of the Labor party has had no effect on the member of the opposition's preferred prime minister standing. The survey will not indicate what John Howard's position on Rudd's brother donating to the Liberal/National Coalition is.
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Al Gore will once again state that he has no intention to run for US president in 2008 whilst refusing to categorically rule out running for president. He will continue to spend a few minutes each day practising his, "I know i said i wouldn't but the situation is too dire speech." Al Gore supporters, due to insanely high levels of gullibility present in their blood stream will be genuinely surprised when he does announce he is running.
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As soon as Australia's east and southern coast start to warm up, indicating the onset of Spring, every newspaper will publish dire global warming heatwave predictions. This will indicate that Climate Change (who stood in for global warming during the coldest winter in living memory)has left the building and Global Warming is in the house.
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Collingwood will defeat whichever team they are playing.
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Having forgotten who El Nino was whilst Global Warming/Climate change was in the house, Australians will start to re-acquaint themselves with him, just in time to wave goodbye to this foreign weather. Aussies will once again be too preoccupied with Global Warming to get acquainted with La Nina.
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No Cute furry animals were harmed in producing this horrorscope.
Friday, July 20, 2007
I Met a Snake Last Night.
Went to the pub last night for a couple of beers. I was home by 10.20 pm, so that makes it alright. Anyway, after my regulation 2.5 beers I went home. Not before I met a girl, whose name escapes me, but whom we shall call Sally. (A friend, Maria introduced us shortly before I left).
Anyway Sally is a performer. More specifically, a dancer. And for those who want more information, she dances with a snake. Which leads to the question, what on earth do you say to a girl who dances with a snake. Anyway, she and Maria were discussing what they were going to do at next years Adelaide Fringe Festival. Apparently the plan is to have one of them recite poetry whilst the other dances with a snake.
Anyway Sally is a performer. More specifically, a dancer. And for those who want more information, she dances with a snake. Which leads to the question, what on earth do you say to a girl who dances with a snake. Anyway, she and Maria were discussing what they were going to do at next years Adelaide Fringe Festival. Apparently the plan is to have one of them recite poetry whilst the other dances with a snake.
It truly is, a wonderful, wonderful world.
Oh, and apparently Sally and the snake are going on the road shortly, they plan to hit Darwin whilst we freeze in a very unsnakeworthy Adelaide Winter. And another oh, if you've ever lain awake at night wondering what an engineer and a snake dancer could possibly talk about on a Thursday night in a pub, well wonder no more. I felt that whatever artistic contribution I could make into the art of woman dancing with snake might be very easily misunderstood, so I went home, hence the 2.5 rather than 3.0 beers consumed. Besides it was a school night.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Desal plant construction to start this month
Finally someone has had the cojones to make a decision on this whole we need to safeguard our water supplies issue.
CONSTRUCTION of Sydney's desalination plant will begin within a fortnight after the NSW government officially signed the contract.
Leighton Holdings and its joint venture partner, water services company Veolia Water, were awarded the $1.76 billion contract to design, build, operate and maintain the plant at Kurnell in Sydney's south for 20 years.
Although i admit that i see some troubled times ahead. How long do we reckon it is gonna be til people start complaining about the colossal waste of money, you know now that we have had a couple of weeks of rain.
There had been no decision to delay or abandon the plant despite recent strong rainfall in Sydney catchment areas which have boosted dam levels to above 60 per cent capacity, he said. We are past the point of no return,'' Mr Iemma told reporters.
CONSTRUCTION of Sydney's desalination plant will begin within a fortnight after the NSW government officially signed the contract.
Leighton Holdings and its joint venture partner, water services company Veolia Water, were awarded the $1.76 billion contract to design, build, operate and maintain the plant at Kurnell in Sydney's south for 20 years.
Although i admit that i see some troubled times ahead. How long do we reckon it is gonna be til people start complaining about the colossal waste of money, you know now that we have had a couple of weeks of rain.
There had been no decision to delay or abandon the plant despite recent strong rainfall in Sydney catchment areas which have boosted dam levels to above 60 per cent capacity, he said. We are past the point of no return,'' Mr Iemma told reporters.
95% Emissions Cuts Required.
Well don't know about you guys, but i think we have officially reached the end times. In fact I am now officially in the hunt for a cave to live in. Because if the information contained here is true, we are all doomed. Apparently Australia needs to reduce it's green house emissions by 95% in order to avert global warming. Makes me wish i was a member of the Federal Government, so i could make my ridiculing official, but alas i am not.
I thought I'd found one but alas it was sold for 100,000 pounds, what could have been better, a cave which has been described thus:
The cottage in Sladd Lane has no electricity or water supply but boasts a front door, windows and fireplaces, as well as a pantry, sitting room and a bedroom.
No electricity or water, can't get more Carbon Neutral than that. The benefit of this of course is that once the Carbon Apocalypse becomes official I can Jeer at Carbonistas with less foresight than me from the behind the safety of my caves front door. The other benefit being that when asked if i was born in a cave i could retort, "No. But I live in one"
Global Warming now world's most boring topic: report
It's in a survey (so it must be true), commissioned by a think tank (so it must be true), and is in The Age Newspaper (so it must be true), don't know about you folks, but I'm sold.
Via Tim Blair, originally on theage.com web page, here
Global warming and the debate over whether man-made carbon gas emissions are having a detrimental influence on climate change has been ranked as the most boring topic of conversation on earth, according to a new report.
The issue of global warming far out-performed other contenders for the title, such as the production of goat cheese, the musical genius of the artist formerly known as P Diddy and media speculation over the likely outcome of the upcoming federal election.
Other key findings of the survey were:
* 89 per cent wanted to know how it was possible for humans to control the climate, given that they have enough trouble forecasting it;
* 96 per cent believe those who use the term "climate change denial" are attempting to equate it with "Holocaust denial";
* 100 per cent of these respondents also believe such people should receive lengthy prison terms for crimes against the English language;
* 79 per cent of the bands that took part in the Live Earth event did so because they feared the planet would be destroyed by global warming before they had a chance to receive free worldwide television exposure;
* 87 per cent only tuned in to watch the lead singer from Sneaky Sound System, who is hot;
* 92 per cent of those same people watched her on mute because they didn't want to hear that song again;
I think the most important factor to remember here is that the girl, Connie from Sneaky Sound System is definitely hot. This is the way it has to be, the wise man wisely said, and since we know she is hot, the rest of the survey must be true.
Via Tim Blair, originally on theage.com web page, here
Global warming and the debate over whether man-made carbon gas emissions are having a detrimental influence on climate change has been ranked as the most boring topic of conversation on earth, according to a new report.
The issue of global warming far out-performed other contenders for the title, such as the production of goat cheese, the musical genius of the artist formerly known as P Diddy and media speculation over the likely outcome of the upcoming federal election.
Other key findings of the survey were:
* 89 per cent wanted to know how it was possible for humans to control the climate, given that they have enough trouble forecasting it;
* 96 per cent believe those who use the term "climate change denial" are attempting to equate it with "Holocaust denial";
* 100 per cent of these respondents also believe such people should receive lengthy prison terms for crimes against the English language;
* 79 per cent of the bands that took part in the Live Earth event did so because they feared the planet would be destroyed by global warming before they had a chance to receive free worldwide television exposure;
* 87 per cent only tuned in to watch the lead singer from Sneaky Sound System, who is hot;
* 92 per cent of those same people watched her on mute because they didn't want to hear that song again;
I think the most important factor to remember here is that the girl, Connie from Sneaky Sound System is definitely hot. This is the way it has to be, the wise man wisely said, and since we know she is hot, the rest of the survey must be true.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Haneef Police Interview Transcript
Not sure when we started doing it, but the Haneef Police interview Transcript is available for downloading from The Age Newspaper. I am up to page ten of about 142, and I can tell you it is scintillating reading. Right now we have ascertained that:
- He had the right to remain silent.
- He had the right to an attorney (Waived).
- He had the right to call his consulate (he did).
- He is from India.
- Has a nickname.
- He was provided a bed to sleep at 2:53 am as he was tired whilst enquiries continued.
- We Aussies have difficulty with Indian names.
- Whichever Idiot put this document on the Internet included Dr Haneef's Mobile number, which i shall not repeat.
Don't know about you, but I'm on the edge of my seat. For those who require instant gratification from the swift arm of the law, I can confirm this, up til page ten, I have no idea whether he is guilty, but fear not, "enquiries are continuing". Anyway back to page 11, where where are confirming for the umpteenth time, and Dr Haneef is agreeing for the umpteenth time that he realises that he is eligible for legal representation.
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Update: Just contacted the age, they are going to look at the issue of mobile numbers and e-mail addresses being made available on their web page. As any good superhero would say, looks like my work here is done, and perhaps i have left the world a better place to live in.
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Update II: Haneef needs a new lawyer. His current one just admitted leaking the police transcripts of his interview to the media, which i have no problem with, but i would have thought he would removed personal details like mobile telephone numbers, e-mail addresses, and home addresses.
The ability of apparently intelligent people to do stoopid things never ceases to amaze me.
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Some Light Reading for the Sleep Deprived
One of my workmates was doing some work related research on google, thank goodness someone else is doing this vital research, and thank further goodness that i am not working on the same task he is. Just goes to show there is a lot of goodness in the world after all.
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W. Schmidt and J. C. Niemeyer
Lehrstuhl f¨ur Astronomie, Institut f¨ur Theoretische Physik und Astrophysik,
Universit¨at W¨urzburg, Am Hubland, D-97074 W¨urzburg, Germany
Received / Accepted
Abstract. We apply an ad hoc model for dynamical ignition in three-dimensional numerical simulations of thermonuclear supernovae assuming pure deflagrations. The model makes use of the statistical description of temperature fluctuations in the pre-supernova core proposed by Wunsch & Woosley (2004). Randomness in time is implemented by means of a Poisson process.
We are able to vary the explosion energy and nucleosynthesis depending on the free parameter of the model which controls the rapidity of the ignition process. However, beyond a certain threshold, the strength of the explosion saturates and the outcome appears to be robust with respect to number of ignitions. In the most energetic explosions, we find about 0.75M_ of iron
group elements. Other than in simulations with simultaneous multi-spot ignition, the amount of unburned carbon and oxygen at radial velocities of a few 103 km/s tends to be reduced for an ever increasing number of ignition events and, accordingly, more pronounced layering results.
group elements. Other than in simulations with simultaneous multi-spot ignition, the amount of unburned carbon and oxygen at radial velocities of a few 103 km/s tends to be reduced for an ever increasing number of ignition events and, accordingly, more pronounced layering results.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Fear of a global 'coldening'
Note, while i would like to claim responsibility for the following article, alas i can't the entire thing was copied off the news.com.au webpage here.
By Tim Blair
July 14, 2007 12:00am
Not that June should be presented as evidence that global warming isn't happening, or that we're causing it. Relying on such a tiny sample would be unscientific and wrong, even if it involves an entire freakin' continent's weather patterns throughout the course of a whole month, for Christ's sake.
No such foolishness will be indulged in here.
Sadly, those who believe in global warming - and who would compel us also to believe - aren't similarly constrained. A few hot days are all they ever need to get the global warming bandwagon rolling; evidently it's solar powered. Here, for example, is an Australian Associated Press report on May's weather, which in places was a little warmer than usual:
By Tim Blair
July 14, 2007 12:00am
LAST month Australians endured our coldest June since 1950. Imagine that; all those trillions of tonnes of evil carbon we've horked up into the atmosphere over six decades of rampant industrialisation, and we're still getting the same icy weather we got during the Cold War.
Not that June should be presented as evidence that global warming isn't happening, or that we're causing it. Relying on such a tiny sample would be unscientific and wrong, even if it involves an entire freakin' continent's weather patterns throughout the course of a whole month, for Christ's sake.
No such foolishness will be indulged in here.
Sadly, those who believe in global warming - and who would compel us also to believe - aren't similarly constrained. A few hot days are all they ever need to get the global warming bandwagon rolling; evidently it's solar powered. Here, for example, is an Australian Associated Press report on May's weather, which in places was a little warmer than usual:
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Anyway, read the full article at the Telegraph webpage, here.
Was gonna gratuitoutsly stick the boot in to my good friend Michelle at this point about the weather sometimes being just, well you know the weather, and a drought just a drought, but alas, I am too much of a gentlemen for that.
Hamas TV: Get them While They're Young!
Get them while they’re young.
A simple mantra known by fast food, sporting shoes, toy companies and drug dealers all around the world. Once you’ve got them hooked on your product you’re officially on the gravy train. And if you can get them while they’re young, all the better. And now the extremists are getting in on the act. I have always thought that given the fullness of time, we would eventually see an end to the whole Israeli, Palestinian, Hamas, Fatah shemozzle. Hey, I knowmthe whole UK IRA thing was probably very different to the Middle East, but at least there we seem to have reached some sort of agreement. So can a middle ground be reached between Israel Hamas? If I were a betting man, I would say not. Why, well read on.
Imagine your kid is watching Sesame Street and he sees Big Bird and Cookie Monster get into a vicious argument, which ends when the demented chocolate-chip addict bashes Big Bird's brains out with a baseball bat.
A simple mantra known by fast food, sporting shoes, toy companies and drug dealers all around the world. Once you’ve got them hooked on your product you’re officially on the gravy train. And if you can get them while they’re young, all the better. And now the extremists are getting in on the act. I have always thought that given the fullness of time, we would eventually see an end to the whole Israeli, Palestinian, Hamas, Fatah shemozzle. Hey, I knowmthe whole UK IRA thing was probably very different to the Middle East, but at least there we seem to have reached some sort of agreement. So can a middle ground be reached between Israel Hamas? If I were a betting man, I would say not. Why, well read on.
Imagine your kid is watching Sesame Street and he sees Big Bird and Cookie Monster get into a vicious argument, which ends when the demented chocolate-chip addict bashes Big Bird's brains out with a baseball bat.
Palestinian parents may have a clue. On Friday, Hamas-affiliated al-Aksa TV broadcast the finale of a children's show starring a big rodent mascot called "Farfour" -- a dead-ringer for Mickey Mouse except that he preaches jihad instead of wooing Minnie. When Farfour's show, The Pioneers of Tomorrow, premiered earlier this year, the cuddly star declared that he and his audience were "placing together the cornerstone for the ruling of the world by an Islamic leadership."
Last week, The Pioneers of Tomorrow ended its run in style. In Friday's final episode, we see Farfour's dying grandfather (who is human, for some reason) entrust the mouse with the deed to his pre-1948 land holdings in Tel Aviv. When Farfour tries to reclaim his land from the "filth of the criminal, plundering Jews," an Israeli government worker pummels him to death -- at which point, the show's teenage presenter declares that Farfour had been "martyred" by "the killers of children."
Now I am pretty sure that if anything close to that happened on Sesame Street, or my personal childhood favourite, “The Muppet Show” we would have some seriously disturbed children around, and if I had kids, I would be banning them from watching it no matter how many cool action figures McDonalds came up with. So what was the reaction of the kiddies to the Martyrdom of Farfour?
Anyway, Farfour's unfortunate real estate deal was still under way when the show cut to its teenage girl co-host, who announced Farfour had been martyred while defending his land; 72 virgins for Farfour. A young female viewer phoned in. "We don't like the Jews because they are dogs!" she railed. "We will fight them! They killed Farfour!"
Anyway, now that Farfour the Jew Hating mouse has been killed off, we won’t have to worry about any more of that indoctrination type propaganda right. Wrong, Farfour has been replaced by none other than “Nahoul the Bee” who “During the Hamas TV show, "Pioneers of Tomorrow,"..... pledges to "take revenge upon the enemies of Allah, the killer of the prophets and of the innocent children."
In an early episode Nahoul further said "I want to be in every episode with you on the Pioneers of Tomorrow show, just like Farfour. I want to continue in the path of Farfour – the path of Islam, of heroism, of martyrdom, and of the mujahideen. Me and my friends will follow in the footsteps of Farfour. We will take revenge upon the enemies of Allah, the killer of the prophets and of the innocent children, until we liberate Al-Aqsa from their impurity. We place our trust in Allah."
So, any sunny predictions for an end to hostilities in the Middle East in our lifetimes, don't know about you, but i am predicting an extended period of alarming, saddening and shocking headlines on both sides of that fence for a long time yet.
Wife Wanted: Help Sought
Proudly showed my parents my new web log the other day, thinking they would be proud of me. Well apparently it was more like a cat bringing a dead bird home and leaving it on the back door. My mum’s only comment; “Get a Wife”. Since the last thing I want to do is disappoint mummsy, I am going to start on online, “my mummy wants me to get married” competition to see if I can get lucky in the wife department, as I would not want to disappoint mummsy.
My friend Cath reckons “My suggestion is that you should do what any self-respecting single 30 something male should do.........contact ACA or Today Tonight and tell your story to the masses! It has worked for the lonely farmer boys in the midst of their female drought out west so why not your good self?!?!?”
Although I am not sure how much credence I should give to the advice of a friend that reckons I should not allowed to go clothes shopping on my own.
Look out for the survey, asking what the best way to find a wife in the information age. Oh, and feel free to provide sample questions related to the possible ways i could find a wife. I am thinking
My friend Cath reckons “My suggestion is that you should do what any self-respecting single 30 something male should do.........contact ACA or Today Tonight and tell your story to the masses! It has worked for the lonely farmer boys in the midst of their female drought out west so why not your good self?!?!?”
Although I am not sure how much credence I should give to the advice of a friend that reckons I should not allowed to go clothes shopping on my own.
Look out for the survey, asking what the best way to find a wife in the information age. Oh, and feel free to provide sample questions related to the possible ways i could find a wife. I am thinking
- Get drunk in Las Vegas and wake up next to my betrothed.
- Online dating.
- Russian Bride.
- Old fashioned get to know someone;
- Up the duff.
And whatever other examples you guys can come up with.
Terrorism by Association - What Would Buffy Do?
So Dr Mohammed Haneef’s Visa has been revoked. Well I for one smell a rat. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for defeating terrorism, especially in my own back yard. But I must say that I am a bit suspicious that the only thing they could get him on is the fact that he aided and abetted a terrorist by supplying them with a mobile phone SIM card before he departed Europe for Australia. In cases like this, I like to ask myself “What Would Buffy Do?”, but since Buffy is all about fighting Vampires, and not terrorists I guess I am going to have to field that question myself.
So, “What would I do?”
Image lifted from the “Nine Network” Via theage.com.au
Let’s assume for a minute that I am, to pick a profession at random, an engineer, on holiday in the UK, and that I have a prepaid SIM card for the duration of my stay. Let’s further assume that when I leave, I have 20 pounds of credit left. I could throw it away. Or I could give it to a bloke down the pub on a Friday night for a couple of pints of the drink that cheers, or most likely to a family member. Let’s further assume that the aforementioned bloke down the pub or as it might be family member gets involved in some serious terrorism, I’d be mightily pissed off if I got done for aiding and abetting terrorism, based on the SIM card. Yes it is more likely that a family member would know that the person he was giving the SIM card to was involved in some seriously bad terrorism, but going back to the old “What would I do” way of thinking, I know there is a lot of stuff that I do that my family would not have a clue about.
The fact that it took so many Federal Police extensions to his detention (without charge whilst evidence was gathered) has me a wee bit suspicious that we may not have the strongest case against him. The fact that after gathering all that evidence, the AFP had to have his VISA revoked in order to get him legally detained makes me even more suspicious. I only hope that we actually have a strong case, and that the AFP are trying not so show how strong a hand they have regards getting a conviction, you know because of continuing investigations overseas.
I especially liked this quote from Immigration Minister Kevin Andrews:
“Haneef had failed a character test by associating with people allegedly involved in terrorism, and that the decision was based on advice from the Australian Federal Police. I reasonably suspect that Dr Haneef has had or had an association with persons involved in criminal conduct, namely terrorism,”
I can understand refusing to award a VISA to someone because they have some bad ass family members who are involved in terrorism (Since a country does not need to give a reason why it denies someone access, and in the case of a VISA application “Guilt by association is enough"), but cancelling a VISA in this manner, where the other legal avenues have failed, seems to be grasping at straws.
More info on the doctor here, here, here and here.
You make up your mind, because since I have not made up mine yet, I can’t be of any help, unless you pay me, then I will very helpfully tell you whatever you want to hear, and for the right amount, actually make it sound plausible.
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haneef chat
So, “What would I do?”
Image lifted from the “Nine Network” Via theage.com.au
Let’s assume for a minute that I am, to pick a profession at random, an engineer, on holiday in the UK, and that I have a prepaid SIM card for the duration of my stay. Let’s further assume that when I leave, I have 20 pounds of credit left. I could throw it away. Or I could give it to a bloke down the pub on a Friday night for a couple of pints of the drink that cheers, or most likely to a family member. Let’s further assume that the aforementioned bloke down the pub or as it might be family member gets involved in some serious terrorism, I’d be mightily pissed off if I got done for aiding and abetting terrorism, based on the SIM card. Yes it is more likely that a family member would know that the person he was giving the SIM card to was involved in some seriously bad terrorism, but going back to the old “What would I do” way of thinking, I know there is a lot of stuff that I do that my family would not have a clue about.
The fact that it took so many Federal Police extensions to his detention (without charge whilst evidence was gathered) has me a wee bit suspicious that we may not have the strongest case against him. The fact that after gathering all that evidence, the AFP had to have his VISA revoked in order to get him legally detained makes me even more suspicious. I only hope that we actually have a strong case, and that the AFP are trying not so show how strong a hand they have regards getting a conviction, you know because of continuing investigations overseas.
I especially liked this quote from Immigration Minister Kevin Andrews:
“Haneef had failed a character test by associating with people allegedly involved in terrorism, and that the decision was based on advice from the Australian Federal Police. I reasonably suspect that Dr Haneef has had or had an association with persons involved in criminal conduct, namely terrorism,”
I can understand refusing to award a VISA to someone because they have some bad ass family members who are involved in terrorism (Since a country does not need to give a reason why it denies someone access, and in the case of a VISA application “Guilt by association is enough"), but cancelling a VISA in this manner, where the other legal avenues have failed, seems to be grasping at straws.
More info on the doctor here, here, here and here.
You make up your mind, because since I have not made up mine yet, I can’t be of any help, unless you pay me, then I will very helpfully tell you whatever you want to hear, and for the right amount, actually make it sound plausible.
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haneef chat
Monday, July 16, 2007
Roller Disco
Went to a roller disco on the weekend. Wasn't part of my original plan, but hey, half price tickets (normally $25) and the possible, nay probable spectacle of alcohol fueled bravado, on roller skates/blades no less, and well i was well sold.Did i wear roller blades/skates, i think not. I prefer to be in full control of my faculties when i make a fool of myself. All in all a good time was had, and i would probably go again. It's not often you get to see a 60 year old grey beard in roller skates, jeans folded up to his knees, chambray shirt, with the bottom buttons undone and a nice big knot tied. Yeah that's what i call a spectacle alright.
Pictures to follow.
Friday, July 13, 2007
After Tax Synergy Sought!
Just got one of my group certificates. I only wish it had arrived last Saturday, which was the 7/7/7, apparently a pretty auspicious date. You know the date that Eva Longoria got married; I guess that would have made it pretty auspicious. Anyway, the amount of tax withheld contains the three digits 777 in sequence, among other digits the value of which I would not dream of boring you with. Now all I have to do is wait for my other one, and then it’s howdy doodie, give me back my tax time, not sure I can spend it any wiser than our government, but I sure as hell plan to have a lot of fun trying.
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In other finance news, Rio Tinto has made a $44 Billion dollar bid for Alcan. Apparently the bid “will also generate after-tax synergies of around $600 million per year.” I guess I am not the only cashed up person this side of the arse end of the world. If I can make it through the weekend with my potential tax return intact (it exists in potentia since I have not received it), I might throw in a bid myself, which should throw the business world Illuminati on their collective behinds. Although, come to think of it, I am not really sure I can handle the “months of speculation that another offer for Alcan could emerge, from parties including Rio Tinto”. Sometimes having money to spend is just too painful.
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In other finance news, Rio Tinto has made a $44 Billion dollar bid for Alcan. Apparently the bid “will also generate after-tax synergies of around $600 million per year.” I guess I am not the only cashed up person this side of the arse end of the world. If I can make it through the weekend with my potential tax return intact (it exists in potentia since I have not received it), I might throw in a bid myself, which should throw the business world Illuminati on their collective behinds. Although, come to think of it, I am not really sure I can handle the “months of speculation that another offer for Alcan could emerge, from parties including Rio Tinto”. Sometimes having money to spend is just too painful.
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Anyway, what do you think of the synergy represented in the attached photo.
I reckon that pair both had a regrettable weekend on the turps shortly after receiving their tax return.
In other “Did I Just Say That News”
So I am sitting at work, nice and early, bright eyed and 
bushy tailed, Denim Jeans, dreadlocks hanging out cause its
Casual Friday. The Big Boss walks up, and says “Has your hair grown longer”. (It's about as long as Bob on the rights hair)
To which I reply, “No, I just have it out cause its casual Friday, don’t worry I'll tie it back if someone important walks in”.
To which I reply, “No, I just have it out cause its casual Friday, don’t worry I'll tie it back if someone important walks in”.
I wonder what my current life expectancy in this role is?
Elton John Keeps Me Awake at Work
Watched Sunrise on Channel Seven this morning, on the way to work, and they were talking about an interview one of then had with Sir Elton John. Apparently the interviewer had a great rapport with the Knighted one, and there was some almost PG rated innuendo when the bald one said they got along well didn’t they. To which the other one said something like, “Are you implying that because he is gay there is something going on” To which the bald one said something like “No, I meant in a purely platonic way”. And once again there was some PG rated agreement.(As you can tell I watch Sunrise for the Hard Hitting Issues and not the personalities)
This all left me wondering, “Can two men have a Platonic Relationship?”, indeed can two women have a platonic relationship as defined in popular culture. I think of men as blokes, mates, dudes or friends irrespective of whether they are gay not.
These are the things that conspire to keep me awake at work.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Great Global Warming Swindle
Just watched the Swindle. I was impressed, personally i put it on the same level as the "Inconvenient Truth" in that they are both political pieces designed to influence your opinion with a small dose of the facts but not nearly enough information to be taken conclusively. Both have flaws, but both taken on their own, if you are disinclined to do a bit of research on your own are probably sufficient to sway masses.
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Based purely on those two pieces if i had to invest my bottom dollar, either way, I'd take a recess, get a beer and go out and party. In other words neither is nearly enough, I'd keep my money in my pocket or invest it at the pub, at least at the pub I'd have a greater confidence on what my return on investment would be. The challenge now is to find more information then try to infuriate Carbonistas on the weekend. I like to be the devil's advocate, some say the devil.
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Great debate on the piece taking place at Timblair, and i guess (have not been there yet) at the ABC webpage.
Go to both, have a read, make up your own mind, or if you prefer, I can tell you what you should think. It's the work of but a moment, with the added bonus that if you pay me, I'll tell you whatever you want or need to believe.
--
Based purely on those two pieces if i had to invest my bottom dollar, either way, I'd take a recess, get a beer and go out and party. In other words neither is nearly enough, I'd keep my money in my pocket or invest it at the pub, at least at the pub I'd have a greater confidence on what my return on investment would be. The challenge now is to find more information then try to infuriate Carbonistas on the weekend. I like to be the devil's advocate, some say the devil.
--
Great debate on the piece taking place at Timblair, and i guess (have not been there yet) at the ABC webpage.
Go to both, have a read, make up your own mind, or if you prefer, I can tell you what you should think. It's the work of but a moment, with the added bonus that if you pay me, I'll tell you whatever you want or need to believe.
Al Jazeera: Impressive in at Least One Respect
Recently started reading Aljazeera after a long hiatus (always wanted to use that word), and i have to say in at least one way i am pleasantly surprised. They have a section titled "Conspiracy Theories". Not that i am a big conspiracy theory nut, but at least the term gives these theories the credit they are due. Why, because well, according to Wikipedia, that bastion of dubious knowledge to be trusted at your own risk a conspiracy theory is defined thusly:
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A conspiracy theory is a theory that claims an event or series of events is the result of secret manipulations by two or more individuals or an organization, rather than the result of a single perpetrator or natural occurrence. Conspiracy theories often defy an official or dominant understanding of events, and proponents sometimes substitute zeal for logic.
-
The bit i like is at the end, substitute zeal for logic, and if you look at the conspiracy theories around that pretty much sums them up. An essential part of most conspiracy theories is the requirement to believe something, usually fantastical, on the basis of a logical grouping of facts that are based on no verifiable evidence. In this case verifiable meaning a bit more strength than "a mate used to go out with a girl who lived across from the man who picked the fruit that went to Cottees to make the cordial that i like best told me that ..."
--
Update:
Got my first comment today (12 July 07), and it was in response to this very post. Apparently Aljazeera is not Al Jazeera. It's a Conspiracy Theory, I reckon it was started by the "Anglo-American Coalition for the Annihilation of the Arabic Media System. It's enough to make me wish i had paid some money just so I could righteously demand it back. What is the world coming to, when as "Esmeralda Weatherwax" said "... sometimes things look more like things than things themselves"
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Anonymous said...
You are reading the wrong web site. Al Jazeera site doesn't have any section called 'Conspiracy Theories.' You are probably reading aljazeera.com. That site has no links to the satellite TV station Al Jazeera, which operates websites in both Arabic (www.aljazeera.net) and English (http://english.aljazeera.net/) (note it's .NET, not .COM). Read more about it at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aljazeera.com
You are reading the wrong web site. Al Jazeera site doesn't have any section called 'Conspiracy Theories.' You are probably reading aljazeera.com. That site has no links to the satellite TV station Al Jazeera, which operates websites in both Arabic (www.aljazeera.net) and English (http://english.aljazeera.net/) (note it's .NET, not .COM). Read more about it at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aljazeera.com
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Count yourself lucky anonymous just exposed this serious trap for young players.
Councillor wants dolphin arch
In other "I trust my politicians to spend my money wisely" news
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TWO giant dolphins arching over Jetty Rd have been proposed as an "entry statement" to Glenelg. The dolphins would stand at the junction of Jetty Rd and Brighton Rd, suggests Holdfast Bay councillor Philip Crutchett. He estimates it will cost ratepayers about $100,000.
The gateway would be complemented by brass dolphins attached to rubbish bins in a similar fashion to Rundle Mall's famous pigs.
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What sort of entry statement are giant dolphins attached to rubbish bins supposed to make? "Today is dolphin bin day perhaps!"
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Mr Crutchett even suggested the arch could be adapted so dolphin flippers would support the road's tram wires. "I am keen for the entry statement to be forward-thinking and drive the City of Holdfast Bay's marketing themes," he says.
Mr Crutchett said his idea "would encourage the entry statement to be a must-see".
A new entry statement for the precinct was recommended by the Jetty Road Urban Design framework, adopted by the council in August last year.
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So, what sort of exit statement do two giant dolphins attached to garbage bins make? Now if it was a giant CO2 molecule, that would be even more forward thinking, but perhaps it is too revolutionary.
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TWO giant dolphins arching over Jetty Rd have been proposed as an "entry statement" to Glenelg. The dolphins would stand at the junction of Jetty Rd and Brighton Rd, suggests Holdfast Bay councillor Philip Crutchett. He estimates it will cost ratepayers about $100,000.
The gateway would be complemented by brass dolphins attached to rubbish bins in a similar fashion to Rundle Mall's famous pigs.
--
What sort of entry statement are giant dolphins attached to rubbish bins supposed to make? "Today is dolphin bin day perhaps!"
--
Mr Crutchett even suggested the arch could be adapted so dolphin flippers would support the road's tram wires. "I am keen for the entry statement to be forward-thinking and drive the City of Holdfast Bay's marketing themes," he says.
Mr Crutchett said his idea "would encourage the entry statement to be a must-see".
A new entry statement for the precinct was recommended by the Jetty Road Urban Design framework, adopted by the council in August last year.
--
So, what sort of exit statement do two giant dolphins attached to garbage bins make? Now if it was a giant CO2 molecule, that would be even more forward thinking, but perhaps it is too revolutionary.
The U.S. Black Propaganda Campaign Against Iran
Apparently the US has been running a propaganda campaign in Iran, and this is causing some surprise and furor in the middle east. I guess the fact that it is covert has gotten some people in a Huff. You certainly know where you stand when someone yells "Death to America", or "Death to the Infidel" But this comment from an Aljazeera reader (go to the comments in the article) struck me as particularly intelligent.
--
Shangeh from Oman
16/06/2007 12:47:42 PM
More power to those with intelligence
It is every persons right to use all available means to defeat his enemy. We may sit in our confotable lazy boy chairs manufuctured in the US and in between passing wind, find the time to complain how others are using their recources to their advantage Just because we do not know how to use our resources should not be the reason to blame others for being more capable...
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I like to think i am moderately intelligent, but lets be honest, sometimes it's nice to be able to blame someone else. In fact i am pretty sure the first rule with any screw up is to work out whether someone else can be blamed. When it comes to sticking the boot in if you need a scapegoat I recommend John Howard, he probably paid this guy, just to boost his image before the Aussie Election. You see, some people will believe anything.
--
Shangeh from Oman
16/06/2007 12:47:42 PM
More power to those with intelligence
It is every persons right to use all available means to defeat his enemy. We may sit in our confotable lazy boy chairs manufuctured in the US and in between passing wind, find the time to complain how others are using their recources to their advantage Just because we do not know how to use our resources should not be the reason to blame others for being more capable...
--
I like to think i am moderately intelligent, but lets be honest, sometimes it's nice to be able to blame someone else. In fact i am pretty sure the first rule with any screw up is to work out whether someone else can be blamed. When it comes to sticking the boot in if you need a scapegoat I recommend John Howard, he probably paid this guy, just to boost his image before the Aussie Election. You see, some people will believe anything.
The XXX-Rated Med School Teacher.
From bbc.com
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Dr Carla Pugh makes an unusual shopping trip at the start of every academic year as she prepares teaching materials for her medical students - to porn emporia and toy shops.
Worried by the quality and anatomical accuracy of mannequins available for her students to practise on, Dr Pugh decided to take matters into her own hands and provide her own. "One model that was available for teaching the students had the rectum in the wrong place, in another the prostate was in the wrong position. "The penises that were available were made of Styrofoam and they were all the same.
--
It's such a joy to find someone else, who like me, is dedicated to the pursuit of excellence in all things sexual, sorry Scientific. Describing some of her anatomically correct hybrid sex toy/kids toy inventions Dr Pugh had this to say:
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In each they have a fully formed anus and rectum. There are paper-thin sensors inside to measure a student's touch and send individual readings to an attached computer monitor...
"I had to go into porn shops and ask for lots of penises, all sizes, erect and not erect, circumcised and non-circumcised."
--
Although to be honest i am not that dedicated, while i have a penis, I don't have a penis fetish, but will admit that i went to SEXPO in Sydney last year. It was um, educational.
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Dr Carla Pugh makes an unusual shopping trip at the start of every academic year as she prepares teaching materials for her medical students - to porn emporia and toy shops.
Worried by the quality and anatomical accuracy of mannequins available for her students to practise on, Dr Pugh decided to take matters into her own hands and provide her own. "One model that was available for teaching the students had the rectum in the wrong place, in another the prostate was in the wrong position. "The penises that were available were made of Styrofoam and they were all the same.
--
It's such a joy to find someone else, who like me, is dedicated to the pursuit of excellence in all things sexual, sorry Scientific. Describing some of her anatomically correct hybrid sex toy/kids toy inventions Dr Pugh had this to say:
--
In each they have a fully formed anus and rectum. There are paper-thin sensors inside to measure a student's touch and send individual readings to an attached computer monitor...
"I had to go into porn shops and ask for lots of penises, all sizes, erect and not erect, circumcised and non-circumcised."
--
Although to be honest i am not that dedicated, while i have a penis, I don't have a penis fetish, but will admit that i went to SEXPO in Sydney last year. It was um, educational.
Howard Gun Threat
From adelaidenow.com
A MAN armed with a gun has been detained in Tasmania after he attempted to buy an airline ticket, saying he needed to visit Prime Minister John Howard.
The incident this morning came as Mr Howard toured northern Tasmania campaigning.
It is understood the man walked into Launceston Airport this morning and demanded a ticket to Sydney, saying he needed to visit Mr Howard.
--It is understood the man walked into Launceston Airport this morning and demanded a ticket to Sydney, saying he needed to visit Mr Howard.
Thank god our fearless leader is safe, although it is entirely possible that the gun toting traveller just wanted a chat, and brought the gun purely to ensure he had the PMs attention. Anyone with a gun, in my general vicinity, whether talking to me or not generally has my fullest attention. Except for the police, I generally try to ignore them, cause I have found that dreadlocks tend to make you look suspicious in generally non-specific sort of way that gets the cops going "Wots this then" a lot.
When Carbonistas Attack - Live from an Adelaide Bunker
You see, this is what I am talking about. How can a documentary cause so much angst, if you know it's a Swindle ignore it, but allow other people the freedom to be swindled. I personally can't wait to see the "Global Warming Swindle", kudos to the ABC for showing it, but idiots like these below get me worried.
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"The ABC has fallen into the trap of screening patent nonsense in a bid to prove how unbiased it has become,'' Senator Allison said in a statement. "The consensus of the world's most respected scientists is that climate change threatens our very existence. "This is not the time to be giving oxygen to those in denial and whose answer to crisis is to plunge their heads into the sand.''
--
I would just like to pass on that after tonight, I shall likely be doing an “Anne Frank” or possibly “Salman Rushdie” because when the Carbonistas start denying “Denialists” Oxygen, I make myself scarce, as scarce as possible. Look out for the book, and consult my web log which will be updated from a secret location, deep in the basement of a local “Denialist” sympathiser I know. The Struggle goes on.
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"The ABC has fallen into the trap of screening patent nonsense in a bid to prove how unbiased it has become,'' Senator Allison said in a statement. "The consensus of the world's most respected scientists is that climate change threatens our very existence. "This is not the time to be giving oxygen to those in denial and whose answer to crisis is to plunge their heads into the sand.''
--
I would just like to pass on that after tonight, I shall likely be doing an “Anne Frank” or possibly “Salman Rushdie” because when the Carbonistas start denying “Denialists” Oxygen, I make myself scarce, as scarce as possible. Look out for the book, and consult my web log which will be updated from a secret location, deep in the basement of a local “Denialist” sympathiser I know. The Struggle goes on.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
“I no longer believe my government!”
from aljazeera.com
I no longer trust my government, after all the lies over Iraq War and the unanswered questions over the London bombings.
Sadly, I no longer believe a word my government says!
I am white, middle class. I am not radical, but I no longer trust my government, after all the lies over the illegal invasion of Iraq, after the unanswered questions over the London bombings, and in the U.S. over 9/11.
Sadly, I no longer believe a word my government says!
I am white, middle class. I am not radical, but I no longer trust my government, after all the lies over the illegal invasion of Iraq, after the unanswered questions over the London bombings, and in the U.S. over 9/11.
--
I on the other hand, am not white or radical (used to Rad though, does that count), but i guess i am middle class, but i still know enough not to simply believe my government. In spite of the apparent 2 out of three required to be credible, I do know not to believe everything any government says. Question everything, and then look for the answers, that's my motto.
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I am not alone in this feeling of distress at no longer being able to believe what they tell us, and I am also beginning to doubt information being given by the BBC, which up until now has been a bastion of real journalism and balance. Our country is being taken over by corporations and our democracy is disappearing! We claim to be exporting democracy around the world, but we are loosing it in our own country!
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i always think you should loose democracy into your own backyard before you export, at least then we can be sure it's Export quality. Disappearing democracy is a problem though, I better watch that Aussie election this year. We don't even have a president, we have a Prime Minister, can you imagine not voting for your own President. Probably, i guess since we share the same Queen. And you should hear her when she has one of her annus horibilis', last time i let her say grace. In fact i might not bother enrolling. While i do support democracy, i am a bit doubtful about whether it can be exported, but i salute you for loosing it in your backyard.
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We are heading towards a 'big brother' state, and we are being led there through fear and lies.
We are heading towards a 'big brother' state, and we are being led there through fear and lies.
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Have no fear, this is a job for "Undercover Brother" if we're gonna have a big brother state, it might as well be an "undercover big brother state" In my next life i think I'll come back white, so i can understand what's going on here.
Howard from United Kingdom
Outrage As Pope Endorses Catholicism
From news.bbc.co.uk via Small Dead Animals
Vatican text angers Protestants
Pope Benedict has approved a new text asserting that Christian denominations outside Roman Catholicism are not true Churches in the full sense of the word.
...The document, issued by a Vatican watchdog, has been criticised as offensive by some Protestants.
--
Now not sure about you, but i am not quite sure where the outrage and surprise comes from. Since the pope is leader of the Catholic church, I would think there would be more outrage and surprise if he endorsed Judaism, or Hinduism as the one true faith. But then again i am just a non-believer. Where is the surprise here.
It's like a George Carlin Comedy sketch i remember about people who say "I have a friend who happens to be Black". He had a black father, a black mother, where is the surprise. It would be more of a surprise if he happened to be Swedish.
Giant 'corpse-eating' badgers terrorise Iraqi city
According to news.com.au
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THE Iraqi port city of Basra, already prey to a nasty turf war between rival militia factions, has now been gripped by a scary rumour – giant badgers are stalking the streets by night, eating humans.
The animals were allegedly released into the area by British forces.
Local farmers have caught and killed several of the beasts, but this has done nothing to dispel the rumour.
THE Iraqi port city of Basra, already prey to a nasty turf war between rival militia factions, has now been gripped by a scary rumour – giant badgers are stalking the streets by night, eating humans.
The animals were allegedly released into the area by British forces.
Local farmers have caught and killed several of the beasts, but this has done nothing to dispel the rumour.
--
Damned British forces, always knew they couldn't be trusted when it came to giant Corpse Eating Badgers. This only serves to complicate an already volatile situation since i doubt Badgers are native to Iraq. This is all so reminicent of the other animal that was getting lots of press at the start of the last gulf war. Flipper. We obviously haven't learn't what happens when you take an animal into a war zone.
Via Tim Blair
The US Navy's mine-clearing dolphins have been the surprise media stars of the Iraq war, but they have not exactly won over Australian divers working alongside them.
The polite way to express their scepticism about the mine-clearing skills of the dolphins is to question their reliability and cost efficiency, but there is another way to put it.
"Flipper's fucked, mate," was how one diver saw things yesterday.
"The dolphins have had all this amazing publicity, but as soon as they put one in the water it shot through. There's a war going on and Flipper goes AWOL.”
The polite way to express their scepticism about the mine-clearing skills of the dolphins is to question their reliability and cost efficiency, but there is another way to put it.
"Flipper's fucked, mate," was how one diver saw things yesterday.
"The dolphins have had all this amazing publicity, but as soon as they put one in the water it shot through. There's a war going on and Flipper goes AWOL.”
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It's a strange world after all.
Vengence is Mine Inc.
Had a meeting with a client the other day, about some work that I did for them that they would like changed. No problem I say, humility is after all my middle name, one of them anyway. But what I find slightly annoying is that I was doing their job for them. Admittedly I was only doing their work for them so that they could release a purchase order for us to do some more work, which would result in me getting paid. So I was not being totally selfless by doing the work, but the question needs to be raised. If I do your work for you, how many rights do you have to complain, and if in fact you find fault with my work, and they are minor faults (it is after all my work), and if those faults are because you did not tell me what you wanted, should not the onus be on you to make the corrections. Bearing in mind that the aforementioned corrections would take 45 minutes in Microsoft Word. Instead they came for a drive to our office and we had a pow wow for 45 minutes, before he went back so he could e-mail me what he wanted me to do. Admittedly the gentlemen who came over was not responsible for the task and has been thrown in the deep end on this one, but let that not detract from my righteous anger and furious calls for vengeance.
--
Which got me thinking. Where does a law abiding citizen go to get Vengeance in this world we live in. Someone needs to start "Vengeance is Mine inc" like in the "Tales of the Unexpected" story by Roald Dahl.
Justifiable Laziness
In other “I have done something productive news” I set my Gym up the other night. Even gave the carpet a nice vacuum, removed all the clothes hangars (where I hang my wet washing on a rainy day), moved all my boxes of unpacked stuff to the shed, then set everything up so it was in the most ergonomically productive position possible. I then stood back and beheld all I had done. And I saw that it was good. I then spent the next two hours deciding whether I should have a work out that would deface the newly pristine environment of my gym room. I decided that the room deserved one night unsullied. And so I went to bed in the sure knowledge of a job well done. And this morning woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed. This in my book means I was justified in not having a work out. Completely justifiable laziness is okay in my books.
Transformers Worth Seeing?
Went and saw the movie Transformers last week. If you like action by huge space robots, it had that in spades. If you like being lectured on humanity by giant space robot leader, unfortunately it had that too. If you want great acting, well it didn't have that. If you want a hot looking female love interest, well it had that. If you are a blogging geek whose worried why Bumblebee was not a VW, well they explained that. If you're a blogging geek who wanted an explaination of why Megatron did not transform into a huge canon, well they never explained that. If you're willing to suspend reality for a while, i recomend it. About the only thing missing was an appearance by The Metatron. You work that one out.
Overall worth seeing, even though you probably will gripe a while.
Overall worth seeing, even though you probably will gripe a while.
Extra Brain Cells Discovered!
NEW research, to be revealed at a conference of some of the world's top neuroscientists in Cairns today, has found alcohol does not kill off brain cells as always thought.
For years imbibers have been told a big night on the drink wipes out entire sections of human brain cell function with much the same destructive equivalent as a napalm bombing strike.
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Well I don’t know about you lot, but that means it’s party time. Right now I feel like I am in a Rodney Dangerfield movie, just before the colourful cocktails and bikini clad women come out of nowhere, or is it “Benny Hill”
Apparently all those brain cells I thought I had killed have just been on hiatus, when I thought they were dead, they didn’t have to work, but not any more, now that I know they are there I am going to make sure they work overtime.
So, any Adelaide ladies free this weekend?
For years imbibers have been told a big night on the drink wipes out entire sections of human brain cell function with much the same destructive equivalent as a napalm bombing strike.
--
Well I don’t know about you lot, but that means it’s party time. Right now I feel like I am in a Rodney Dangerfield movie, just before the colourful cocktails and bikini clad women come out of nowhere, or is it “Benny Hill”
Apparently all those brain cells I thought I had killed have just been on hiatus, when I thought they were dead, they didn’t have to work, but not any more, now that I know they are there I am going to make sure they work overtime.
So, any Adelaide ladies free this weekend?
I am not an Engineer. I am a Human Being!
Terrorism is getting weirder and weirder. It was kind of comforting to be able to think that terrorists were poor, disenfranchised people with nothing else to live for and hence they turned religiously extremist. Comforting I say, because at least we knew what the solution was. Get rid of poverty, and once people have enough money, they will stop trying to blow each other up, you know in the name of progress. But then we got these Doctors and Neurosurgeons no less getting in on the act. Don’t try to tell me that a neurosurgeon is a poor, disenfranchised person with nothing to live for. Or is medicine now part of the apprenticeship for suicide bombers.
From “The Times Online”
The unexpected profile of the modern terrorist: 26, from a caring family, married, with children, graduate
We expect suicide bombers to be uneducated social outcasts who have been twisted by fanatics. But the reality can be very different
Two men attempt to commit suicide and mass murder by driving a jeep packed with gas cylinders and petrol into an airport terminal. One is suspected to be a doctor, a man supposed to be committed to saving, not taking, lives. The other, now fighting for his life in a burns unit, is a “pleasant, calm and sociable” aeronautical engineer.
I got even more worried when I found out that the latest examples of the not so poor disenfranchised person with nothing to live for was in fact an “aeronautical engineer”. With brown skin no less. So worried in fact that I rang my parents and told them “I am not an aeronautical engineer, I am a human being” and if anyone asks I am now a project manager. It took a while for my mum to stop laughing, but at least we got that sorted out.
It pays to make sure people know the difference, at least now I can sleep at night and not worry about “crazed mobs” smashing in my door with flaming torches trying to fulfil the “brown skinned engineer APB”.
From “The Times Online”
The unexpected profile of the modern terrorist: 26, from a caring family, married, with children, graduate
We expect suicide bombers to be uneducated social outcasts who have been twisted by fanatics. But the reality can be very different
Two men attempt to commit suicide and mass murder by driving a jeep packed with gas cylinders and petrol into an airport terminal. One is suspected to be a doctor, a man supposed to be committed to saving, not taking, lives. The other, now fighting for his life in a burns unit, is a “pleasant, calm and sociable” aeronautical engineer.
I got even more worried when I found out that the latest examples of the not so poor disenfranchised person with nothing to live for was in fact an “aeronautical engineer”. With brown skin no less. So worried in fact that I rang my parents and told them “I am not an aeronautical engineer, I am a human being” and if anyone asks I am now a project manager. It took a while for my mum to stop laughing, but at least we got that sorted out.
It pays to make sure people know the difference, at least now I can sleep at night and not worry about “crazed mobs” smashing in my door with flaming torches trying to fulfil the “brown skinned engineer APB”.
AIRCON DOWN
Via Tim B, and taken from.
Monday, July 09, 2007 (112 Comments)
by Alex Papadimoulis
Not too long ago, there was a small furor in the local media about a major disaster at The State's Technology Services Division. The details were a bit sketchy – mostly because The State was “unable to comment on an ongoing investigation” – but what was reported was that, for two full days, employees of The State were unable to logon to their computers or access email, and that this caused business within The State to grind to a halt.
As the “investigation” carried on, the media lost interest in the story and moved on to more newsworthy stories like who Paris Hilton was partying with last weekend. Fortunately for us, a certain employee of The State named J.N. works in the Technology Services Division and decided to share what really was behind those fateful days.
When employees of The State came in to work following a three day weekend, they found their workstations overloaded with "cannot logon" and "Exchange communication" error messages. The Network Services folks had it even worse: the server room was a sweltering 109° Fahrenheit and filled with dead or dying servers.
At first, everyone had assumed that the Primary A/C, the Secondary A/C, and the Tertiary A/C had all managed to fail at once. But after cycling the power, the A/Cs all fired up and brought the room back to a cool 64°. At the time, the “why” wasn’t so important: the network administrators had to figure out how to bring online the four Exchange Services, six Domain Controllers, a few Sun servers, and the entire State Tax Commission’s server farm. Out of all of the downed servers, those were the only ones that did not come back to life upon a restart.
They worked day and night to order new equipment, build new servers, and restore everything from back-up. Countless overtime hours and nearly two hundred thousand dollars in equipment costs later, they managed to bring everything back online. When the Exchange servers were finally restored, the following email finally made its way to everyone's inbox, conveniently answering the “why”
--
From: ----- -----------
To: IT Department
Re: A/C constantly running.
To whom it may concern,
I came in today (Monday) to finish up a project I was working
on before our big meeting with the State ----- Commission tomorrow,
and I noticed that there were three or four large air conditioners
running the entire time I was here. Since it's a three day weekend,
no one is around, why do we need to have the A/C running 24/7?
With all the power that all those big computers in that room use, I
doubt it is really eco-friendly to run those big units at the same
time. And all computers have cooling fans anyway, so why put the A/C
for the building in that room?
I got a keycard from [the facility manager’s] desk and shut off the
A/C units. I'm sure you guys can deal with it being warm for an hour
or two when you come in tomorrow morning.
In the future, let's try to be a little more conscientious of our
energy usage!
Thanks,
-----
As for the employee who sent it, he decided to take an early retirement.
Monday, July 09, 2007 (112 Comments)
by Alex Papadimoulis
Not too long ago, there was a small furor in the local media about a major disaster at The State's Technology Services Division. The details were a bit sketchy – mostly because The State was “unable to comment on an ongoing investigation” – but what was reported was that, for two full days, employees of The State were unable to logon to their computers or access email, and that this caused business within The State to grind to a halt.
As the “investigation” carried on, the media lost interest in the story and moved on to more newsworthy stories like who Paris Hilton was partying with last weekend. Fortunately for us, a certain employee of The State named J.N. works in the Technology Services Division and decided to share what really was behind those fateful days.
When employees of The State came in to work following a three day weekend, they found their workstations overloaded with "cannot logon" and "Exchange communication" error messages. The Network Services folks had it even worse: the server room was a sweltering 109° Fahrenheit and filled with dead or dying servers.
At first, everyone had assumed that the Primary A/C, the Secondary A/C, and the Tertiary A/C had all managed to fail at once. But after cycling the power, the A/Cs all fired up and brought the room back to a cool 64°. At the time, the “why” wasn’t so important: the network administrators had to figure out how to bring online the four Exchange Services, six Domain Controllers, a few Sun servers, and the entire State Tax Commission’s server farm. Out of all of the downed servers, those were the only ones that did not come back to life upon a restart.
They worked day and night to order new equipment, build new servers, and restore everything from back-up. Countless overtime hours and nearly two hundred thousand dollars in equipment costs later, they managed to bring everything back online. When the Exchange servers were finally restored, the following email finally made its way to everyone's inbox, conveniently answering the “why”
--
From: ----- -----------
To: IT Department
Re: A/C constantly running.
To whom it may concern,
I came in today (Monday) to finish up a project I was working
on before our big meeting with the State ----- Commission tomorrow,
and I noticed that there were three or four large air conditioners
running the entire time I was here. Since it's a three day weekend,
no one is around, why do we need to have the A/C running 24/7?
With all the power that all those big computers in that room use, I
doubt it is really eco-friendly to run those big units at the same
time. And all computers have cooling fans anyway, so why put the A/C
for the building in that room?
I got a keycard from [the facility manager’s] desk and shut off the
A/C units. I'm sure you guys can deal with it being warm for an hour
or two when you come in tomorrow morning.
In the future, let's try to be a little more conscientious of our
energy usage!
Thanks,
-----
As for the employee who sent it, he decided to take an early retirement.
Glad I laid My Eyes On You
Go to Nadiaali.com,
Press enter.
Press music and videos.
Watch Rapture.
When she sang, "I'm Glad i laid my eyes on you. Cause everything around you moves. Got nervous when you looked my way. Cause you knew all the words to say."
She was singing about me. Truly. It's on the net, so it must be true. Now go tell all your friends.
Now if only i could remember what i said. If it worked once, it'll work again, and the weekend is but two days away (today being hump day).
Maths explains why 'silly walks' are silly
In other "This is vitally important research" news
--
SCIENTISTS have explained mathematically why the famous "silly walks" of Monty Python's John Cleese have never caught on in the long history of Homo sapiens.The giant, leg-twirling strides of silly walks may enable an individual to leap around swiftly but are simply too expensive in metabolic energy compared to conventional locomotion, according to a paper published on Wednesday by Britain's Royal Society.
Manoj Srinavasan and Andy Ruina, researchers in applied mechanics at New York's Cornell University, drew up a geometrical model of human walking and running. They found that, in essence, each leg is a "telescoping actuator'' that can change its length.
--
What the? Silly walks are silly cause they make me laugh, not because "in essence, each leg is a telescoping actuator that can change it's length"
Speaking of telescoping actuators "that can change it's length", I actually do have one of those and it has been the cause of some mirth, so they might be right after all. But this is not the right forum.
But seriously this gratuitous use of Science to describe the bleeding obvious is getting beyond a joke. Next thing Manoj Srinavasan and Andy Ruina will be using Science to analyse my dance moves, and i am not entirely sure how i will react if threatened by gratuitous use of science on the dance floor. Don't say I didn't warn you.
--
SCIENTISTS have explained mathematically why the famous "silly walks" of Monty Python's John Cleese have never caught on in the long history of Homo sapiens.The giant, leg-twirling strides of silly walks may enable an individual to leap around swiftly but are simply too expensive in metabolic energy compared to conventional locomotion, according to a paper published on Wednesday by Britain's Royal Society.
Manoj Srinavasan and Andy Ruina, researchers in applied mechanics at New York's Cornell University, drew up a geometrical model of human walking and running. They found that, in essence, each leg is a "telescoping actuator'' that can change its length.
--
What the? Silly walks are silly cause they make me laugh, not because "in essence, each leg is a telescoping actuator that can change it's length"
Speaking of telescoping actuators "that can change it's length", I actually do have one of those and it has been the cause of some mirth, so they might be right after all. But this is not the right forum.
But seriously this gratuitous use of Science to describe the bleeding obvious is getting beyond a joke. Next thing Manoj Srinavasan and Andy Ruina will be using Science to analyse my dance moves, and i am not entirely sure how i will react if threatened by gratuitous use of science on the dance floor. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Am I a Raging Liberal
My housemate called me a “Raging Liberal” the other night. I think there is something in that for all of us, don’t you?
Was I supposed to hug him or kick him in the nuts? You guys be the judge.
Was I supposed to hug him or kick him in the nuts? You guys be the judge.
Israeli troops rescue rare eagles
Now these guys are serious about the environment.
Israeli troops rescue rare eagles
The birds were confiscated and taken to a zoological gardensA 30-strong platoon of elite Israeli paratroopers has taken part in a mission to rescue a pair of rare golden eagles in the West Bank town of Hebron.
The soldiers were called in by the Israel Nature and Parks Authority after it received information that the birds were being held in a house in the town.
--
All I can say is, thank god our home grown environmentalists don't have access to military support on request.
Just Who is The Wise Man Anyway?
A change of heart, a change of plan.
Look around, your heaven bound.
And if you like it when you're there.
You'll be allowed to stay.
This is the way it has to be.
A wise man, wisely said.
And so we believed, but some did not.
And though we never knew, the wise man wisely had them shot.
Guess who the wise man is. My money is on a aguycalledbrad.
Look around, your heaven bound.
And if you like it when you're there.
You'll be allowed to stay.
This is the way it has to be.
A wise man, wisely said.
And so we believed, but some did not.
And though we never knew, the wise man wisely had them shot.
Guess who the wise man is. My money is on a aguycalledbrad.
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