The Monkey Done it.

Been reading the news on the web, and it appears the deputy mayor of new Delhi has been killed by a horde of crazy monkeys.

The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi died on Sunday after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.
SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys.

And we think we have problems here, with our Cane toads, at least they can't kill you, all they do is gross you out for a while, but then again, some people like them. I hear there are people that get high licking cane toads.

Anyway, in order to solve the monkey crisis, they have come up with a "killer solution"

One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.

It's like a monkey arms race. They replace one killer monkey, with another big, stronger, trained monkey. Wonder what will happen when the trained monkeys turn on the handlers. Religion is a funny thing I tell you;

Culling is seen as unacceptable to devout Hindus, who revere the monkeys as a manifestation of the monkey god Hanuman, and often feed them bananas and peanuts.

Essentially what they are saying is, we can't kill our god monkeys, that we feed bananas and peanuts, but we can hire and train big super ferocious monkeys to beat the living crap out of them. Well whatever keeps your god happy I suppose.

Aussies in the News.

Checked the "Times of India" the other day, you know, so i could find out what's happening in the world's newest Nuclear power. The Aussies are big in the news, apart from the whole Haneef thing, and us agreeing to see Uranium to India whilst refusing to sell any to Pakistan, we are apparently a nation of insanely obese corpses.

More than two-third of Australians living outside major cities are overweight or obese, and extremely obese corpses are creating a safety hazard at mortuaries, according to two studies released on Sunday.

Apparently:

In the past year, there have also been requests for larger crematorium furnaces, bigger grave plots as well as super-sized ambulances, wheelchairs and hospital beds.

I blame the Liberal Government for not legislating good eating habits and thus super sizing us all!

Haneef Police Interview Transcript

Not sure when we started doing it, but the Haneef Police interview Transcript is available for downloading from The Age Newspaper. I am up to page ten of about 142, and I can tell you it is scintillating reading. Right now we have ascertained that:

1. He had the right to remain silent.
2. He had the right to an attorney (Waived).
3. He had the right to call his consulate (he did).
4. He is from India.
5. Has a nickname.
6. He was provided a bed to sleep at 2:53 am as he was tired whilst enquiries continued.
7. We Aussies have difficulty with Indian names.
8. Whichever Idiot put this document on the Internet included Dr Haneef's Mobile number, which i shall not repeat.

Don't know about you, but I'm on the edge of my seat. For those who require instant gratification from the swift arm of the law, I can confirm this, up til page ten, I have no idea whether he is guilty, but fear not, "enquiries are continuing". Anyway back to page 11, where where are confirming for the umpteenth time, and Dr Haneef is agreeing for the umpteenth time that he realises that he is eligible for legal representation.

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Update: Just contacted the age, they are going to look at the issue of mobile numbers and e-mail addresses being made available on their web page. As any good superhero would say, looks like my work here is done, and perhaps i have left the world a better place to live in.

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Update II: Haneef needs a new lawyer. His current one just admitted leaking the police transcripts of his interview to the media, which i have no problem with, but i would have thought he would removed personal details like mobile telephone numbers, e-mail addresses, and home addresses.

The ability of apparently intelligent people to do stoopid things never ceases to amaze me.

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haneef chat